Why You Can't Survive Without Truckzilla Insurance

Truckzilla insurance

ERIN VAN HANDEL
HNI Marketing Coordinator

Truckzillas have rejected the glamour of monster truck rallies in favor of a new gig — preying on big rigs! For most motor carriers, it's just a matter of time before one of your drivers tangles with one of these metal-hungry robots.

For those who don't know, truckzillas are giant, dinosaur-shaped robots that look similar to a Tyrannosaurus rex. Truckzillas breath fire and eat metal objects. They especially like to devour motor vehicles — bad news for the trucking industry.

Following is a look at the threats posed by truckzillas and how a strategic truckzilla insurance policy can help you manage this emerging risk:

Damage to Cargo

No one wants cargo that's been slashed, chomped, stomped, or burned by truckzilla flame breath. The good news is that truckzillas mainly are interested in eating trucks (because they're made of metal). The bad news is, if you're carrying metal cargo... well, let's hope you have a strong truckzilla insurance policy.

Damage to Tractor-Trailer

Truckzillas gnaw on tires like chew toys. If you're driving an 18-wheeler, that could get expensive. Diesel is like coffee to truckzillas. They need a lot of it to get going in the morning before their first rampage. They use glass to sharpen their teeth and claws. Basically, your truck turns into a giant buffet for these metal monsters. A truckzilla policy can help you replace a truck destroyed by one of these demonic robots.

Delays

If it's not your truck that's a target, it's someone else's — and there's a good chance the other guy is just ahead of you. Nothing is worse than a truckzilla attack, but getting caught in a traffic jam caused by a truckzilla attack is no picnic, either. These costly delays really take a bite out of your bottom line. On the bright side, an experienced advisor can help you understand trends in truckzilla attacks and recommend the right policy for your firm.

Truckzilla Risk Management

Truckzillas don't move fast, so it's likely your trucks can outrun them at highway speeds. The truckzilla population prefers urban and industrial settings, because they offer more metal dining options. Encourage your drivers to have heightened awareness in these environments. Signals of a pending truckzilla attack include bursts of flame, a high-pitched roar, and sensations of the earth shaking. Should you encounter a truckzilla, best practice is to hope he locks on to another vehicle. But if you're in a shiny tractor-trailer, good luck with that.

Actually, you should have a lot of luck avoiding truckzilla attacks, because it's... April Fools' Day!

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